God Loves Broken Things

I started this blog in the hopes that I would be able to share things with you that I learn through my healing process, but I have learned that sometimes the words don't come. I have tried to write this post multiple times, but somehow I'm never able to convey what I want to. So, tonight I'm trying again.

God LOVES broken things.

Just think about that for a minute. That is one powerful statement. Everyone is broken. Period. That's it. You're broken, and I'm incredibly broken. In fact, I have never felt more broken, but God still loves me. How incredible is that? The most powerful person of all time LOVES ME! He loves me so much that he gave His Son, to die for me.

When I first started down this path of brokenness, I had no idea where it would lead. All I knew was that I felt broken and I couldn't stop the spiral that happened after that. And everyone kept telling me, "Jesus Christ is the ONLY one who can heal you." Honestly, I had little to no hope that this was true. I wish I would have understood, that Jesus really is the only one who can heal me. Without Him I would have no hope, no salvation, nothing. It's because of Him that I have hope, I have love, and I have forgiveness.

I struggle with PERFECTIONISM. It's a blessing and a curse. I do a lot of things really well, that's the blessing. But on the other hand, there are a lot of things I don't even want to try because I know that I won't do them perfectly. But, it also effects how I live my life. Nobody's perfect, and no matter how many times you tell me that, I will always still believe that I need to be the exception to that absolute.

And let me tell you something, it is absolutely exhausting! I judge myself WAY WAY WAY to harshly, and I can tell myself that, but what I'm thinking is entirely different. 

But, something that I have learned and I have to continually remind myself of, is that God loves me just that way I am. I am not perfect, nor will I ever be, and that is okay. 

Tonight was my Stake Conference, and at the adult evening session we discussed a lot about the Atonement and mainly the Sacrament. The Atonement was made because we are all imperfect. And "enduring to the end" doesn't mean now until the end of my life, it means now until next Sunday. Take everything a week at a time. Take the Sacrament and do your best to be better and to change during the week and ENDURE until the next Sunday, when you can again take the Sacrament and report back to your Heavenly Father and your Savior that you did the best you could, and you'll try again this week. 

No matter how many times I tell myself these things, I always still have doubts and those doubts and thoughts are my constant struggle right now. Sometimes it helps to write things down, so that I can come back and review. 

One thing I know and will proclaim to anybody who wants to listen is: GOD LOVES BROKEN THINGS. And, we were all sent here to make mistakes and grow. 

So, this week I will just do the best I can and I hope you'll join me.